Gordon White

London life skills learnt the hard way. Also recipes for some reason.

Genoese Squid For People Who Never Cook Season

This recipe is Genoese-inspired, from Diana Henry’s life changing book, Food From Plenty. The dish is for people who -like me- actually really like seafood but never really cook it because they’re too chicken shit.

Radish And Olive Salad For A Confusing Detox

In between catching up with business partners, family and friends over the new year there are evenings at home spent crying into my XXXL muumuu about how much weight was gained over Christmas.

A Very European Union Of Sausages

Chorizo, for instance, goes with everything and appears fun and exciting and vivacious like a hot Spaniard you meet at sunset by the beach.

How To Do Burns Night At Home

Of course, if you are going to be racist and turn your nose up at the fine people of Scotland’s proud heritage then I am going to make you work for it. This Highland stew is much more hassle but will begrudgingly serve as a delicious replacement.

Seventies Party Food For People Who Weren’t Alive In The Seventies

Quite a number of this year’s food trends have a seventies feel to them… chopped liver, wines made of things other than grapes…

Starting Your Own Renaissance: An Insider’s Guide

Posted by Gordon White

I have a trip to Florence planned for this Fall so I am reading about the Renaissance. Looking into how it actually started, a number of things occur to me.

Firstly, that it’s possible to have your own personal renaissance. Secondly, that this is probably a really good thing to do. And thirdly, that global economic conditions for a personal renaissance have never been better in your entire lifetime.

So read on!

One day soon, you too could have your own bird in a hat and some puffy shorts that attract small dogs.

How These Things Begin

The proper Renaissance…

More

The Future Tastes Funny But You Should Still Eat It

Posted by Gordon White

The thing about the future is that it always seems off in the distance. Oliver Wendell Holmes said “old age is fifteen years older than I am”. It’s like that. Which is how they both sneak up on you, of course.

I remember giving a talk in Wellington to a bunch of screenwriters about the future of scripted content a couple of years ago. The exact date escapes me because I am into my ninth day of severe ManFlu and can only just remember how to exit my tiny, unruly bedroom to refill my water bottle for the fiftieth time. …

More

Brighton Interrupted

Posted by Gordon White

Because the Met Office once again swung and missed with its weekend weather prediction (flooding), I opted not to take my camera with me on a little overnight trip to Brighton.

Of course, this meant that the Monday turned into the warmest day of the year with beautiful blue skies and an English Channel that didn’t look like it was 43% human feces.

So these are phone photos. But Brighton is cute and fun and I can’t wait for Phil to get his act together and move into a permanent home down there with a spare bedroom.

I just can’t …

More

How To Fail At London Tourism -By An Expert

Posted by Gordon White

My first recommendation would be to make plans with a one Megan Lloyd, like I did yesterday. Then personally suggest and execute a string of alternative options based along London’s least reliable tube line. Then realise the expedition needs a complete do-over and try again the next day. Creepy Instant nachos optional.

Let’s begin at the beginning.

Megan’s on half-term at the moment and I certainly don’t have anything going on so we arranged to meet on Friday morning at Embankment to entertain ourselves with a little walking tour called ‘Eccentric London‘.

The tour was due to start …

More

Ye Olde Roade Trippe

Posted by Gordon White

Ahh, the curse that is my life. I am once again trapped in the country for insurance reasons so rather than doing something to alleviate this powerful case of SAD I am constantly complaining about -something like five days in Sharm- instead I opted for something a little closer to home.

Yorkshire. In February.

And not just February. It was officially The Week When Everything Is Closed. Yorvik -which only closes for three days every year- was closed for our three days in York. The Captain Cook Museum in Whitby? Closed. Whitby Abbey? (As seen/read in Dracula.) Closed.

Who …

More

New Internet Things Of Note

Posted by Gordon White

Due to a less-than-sudden opening in my diary, I have been busying myself with those digital chores that everyone puts off. Much of this was brought on by hearing a friend’s horror story about her old laptop shuffling off its coils and taking half of her photos and all her music with it.

If you’re wondering, the best way to safeguard against this is a cloud computing.

Get a Pro Flickr account for all your photos (Facebook won’t do. It technically owns the copyright to your photos and also compresses them -meaning you will have shit photos if you ever

…

More

Why Are There No Great White Sharks In Britain?

Posted by Gordon White

Just to demonstrate that I have been using all my abundant time effectively, I have a question I would like you to consider.

You see, I’ve been catching up on some documentary viewing (shark related, of course) and spending a lot of time messing about on the ol’ laptop.

And what I don’t get is why there are no great white sharks in Britain despite the fact it has Europe’s largest seal population. Here is the great white’s range:

So it’s found in the Western Mediterranean and the north coast of Spain but won’t swim just that little bit further …

More

Antipodean Christmas in London

Posted by Gordon White

What a hardcore couple of days. One of the very few benefits of being canned just before Christmas is that you can devote days to preparing a meal of absolute awesomeness. So that is what I did.

I’m not entirely sure why Paula is gesticulating like Stalin in the above photo. If memory serves it was actually more of a helicopter motion than stern finger pointing. Either way, Megan is clearly not all that impressed. Alex seems okay with it.

Anyway, the day and evening were super awesome with super awesome company. I’d go into it in more detail but …