Gordon White

London life skills learnt the hard way. Also recipes for some reason.

Genoese Squid For People Who Never Cook Season

This recipe is Genoese-inspired, from Diana Henry’s life changing book, Food From Plenty. The dish is for people who -like me- actually really like seafood but never really cook it because they’re too chicken shit.

Radish And Olive Salad For A Confusing Detox

In between catching up with business partners, family and friends over the new year there are evenings at home spent crying into my XXXL muumuu about how much weight was gained over Christmas.

A Very European Union Of Sausages

Chorizo, for instance, goes with everything and appears fun and exciting and vivacious like a hot Spaniard you meet at sunset by the beach.

How To Do Burns Night At Home

Of course, if you are going to be racist and turn your nose up at the fine people of Scotland’s proud heritage then I am going to make you work for it. This Highland stew is much more hassle but will begrudgingly serve as a delicious replacement.

Seventies Party Food For People Who Weren’t Alive In The Seventies

Quite a number of this year’s food trends have a seventies feel to them… chopped liver, wines made of things other than grapes…

29 Tips For Your First Week In A New Job

Posted by Gordon White

So ends my first few days of the new workplace adventure.

All signs point to it being awesome in every possible way. It’s great to be back in west London even if I will miss my wacky Farringtalians.

Here are a few tips to squirrel away for the next time you are in a similar situation.

Find the tea and work out tea etiquette. Shared mugs?
Bring your own tea if it’s not a good situation. But don’t bring anything too ‘freakshow’ just yet.
Buy or get the coffee every day. Around 11am.
Try different ways of commuting.

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How To Make Confiture D’Oignons Rather Than Think About Your Life

Posted by Gordon White

Okay so maybe “recipe” is pushing it here because it’s so unbelievably easy.

And granted, Spring might seem like an odd time to cook this but that’s only because, statistically speaking, you’re not likely to be Australian.

You see, as the weather warms, I start to think of great slabs of meat cooked outside on charcoal, served in theory with delicious artisanal sourdough and quinoa salads but in reality served with the absolute worst of machine sliced white bread and beetroot chunks from a can.

So I’m blaming Spring. But I’m also blaming this goddamn low carb ordeal. Because whatever …

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How Party Planning Is Like Internet Piracy

Posted by Gordon White

It may have come up “once or twice” in a few private discussions and emails but this is the year I turn 30.

Anyway, I haven’t really done anything for any of my birthdays on a large scale since… well since this birthday.

Knowing myself the way I do, the best way to prevent myself from freaking out and exploding into a third-life crisis was to give myself a project: ie it’s less likely I will go all Bridezilla and ruin my own 30th if I’m too busy planning and orchestrating it.

So… It had to be high impact, …

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Bucatini Con Gorgonzola – The Store Cupboard Revelation

Posted by Gordon White

Something of a minor revelation, here. And I’m not talking about the bucatini even though it’s superior to spaghetti in every possible way.

No, this revelation is it turns out I have a store cupboard. This must be another sign of maturity.

All the times I have seen ‘store cupboard meal’ in various recipe books used to make me wonder exactly who the authors thought their readers were. Did a lot of people live in Tuscan-themed bomb shelters? Should I? Will warriors battling the post-apocalyptic zombie armies be fuelled with ditalini?

Anyway, we were approaching the end of …

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Weekend Paella

Posted by Gordon White

My gods this is so seventies -which is half its charm. If you happen to be wearing a flowing, paisley moo-moo then you’re in luck. Throw in some Lambrusco and I think you may have invented a time machine.

The other half of its charm is that I made a drunken holiday promise to James when we were in Barcelona that I would make more paella at home.

As some of you know, making good on a drunken promise is my specialty. It’s why I moved to New Zealand in the first place. And look how that turned out!

Not …

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10 Updated Points Of London Etiquette

Posted by Gordon White

Everyone knows not to stand on the left when using escalators on the London Underground. That one’s easy. And if you don’t know it you’ll find out soon enough why you need to:

Because I will yell at you from two stairs up. Then I will shove you aside. Then you will yell something at me in Italian. Then, without looking back I will say “welcome to London!”

No, these points of etiquette are more oblique and more… well…. now. Now as in the Spring/Summer of 2011.

So here are some slightly more updated points for visitors or recent arrivals:…

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Chickpea and Za’atar Salad

Posted by Gordon White

To be honest, this appeared last night because my local M&S doesn’t seem to sell cannellini beans. Aren’t they the most popular bean? Why is there a whole shelf of butter beans?!? Who makes that much horrible soup?

Anyway, I had some za’atar at home so I figured I’d switch from Italian bean salad to something Levantine-ish. You could add peeled, diced, deseeded tomatoes to this for extra awesome but I didn’t have any and also screw you I don’t want to.

Ingredients

2 cans of chickpeas. Because I am lazy, I was a late convert to this but, you

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Your Teeth Are A Yardstick Of Maturity

Posted by Gordon White

Sure, sure… Teeth are a potent socioeconomic indicator. And also mummies have scary worn down teeth from eating bread with stones in it and whatever but this isn’t what I mean here.

What I mean is that your teeth are a passport for all your horrible indiscretions. They are stamped with the sins of smoking, wine drinking, coffee guzzling and soda consumption.

Awesomeness, basically.

But -take it from me- as you close in on thirty it becomes more and more difficult to conceal the abuse you have put your chompers through. So the last four months have seen James and …