Gordon White

London life skills learnt the hard way. Also recipes for some reason.

Genoese Squid For People Who Never Cook Season

This recipe is Genoese-inspired, from Diana Henry’s life changing book, Food From Plenty. The dish is for people who -like me- actually really like seafood but never really cook it because they’re too chicken shit.

Radish And Olive Salad For A Confusing Detox

In between catching up with business partners, family and friends over the new year there are evenings at home spent crying into my XXXL muumuu about how much weight was gained over Christmas.

A Very European Union Of Sausages

Chorizo, for instance, goes with everything and appears fun and exciting and vivacious like a hot Spaniard you meet at sunset by the beach.

How To Do Burns Night At Home

Of course, if you are going to be racist and turn your nose up at the fine people of Scotland’s proud heritage then I am going to make you work for it. This Highland stew is much more hassle but will begrudgingly serve as a delicious replacement.

Seventies Party Food For People Who Weren’t Alive In The Seventies

Quite a number of this year’s food trends have a seventies feel to them… chopped liver, wines made of things other than grapes…

The Rules Of Sherry: Spanish Picnic Series

Posted by Gordon White

Are we classing sherry as tapas?

Not really.

Although apocryphally it is sherry that started the whole tapas thing. And I want to talk about it because sherry returned to my life for the first time since my underage drinking/stealing from parents days at the fag end of last summer.

Here’s a revelation for you: it’s actually fucking awesome.

But it’s only awesome if you know the rules.

And it is these rules that I’m going to close out the Spanish Picnic Series with.

The Rules of Sherry

1. It’s called Jerez

Firstly you need to think of sherry …

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Anchovies, Olives & Manchego: Spanish Picnic Series

Posted by Gordon White

Serve with bread as seen in this complete breakfast.

Sure, these are strictly recipes as much as they are “rules”, but if you follow them then you can serve me these three things as tapas every day of my life and I will be Happy Pants McGee™.

Anchovies

Okay, these absolutely must be fresh, marinated anchovies. From the chilled section of your supermarket or deli.

If you live somewhere that doesn’t have fresh anchovies in the chilled section of your supermarket then serve something else. Or move.

Do not replace them with canned anchovies. This isn’t a judgement, I adore canned anchovies. On pizza, in/as a pasta sauce, you …

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Patatas Bravas: Spanish Picnic Series

Posted by Gordon White

Yes, yes. It’s tapas so there was always going to be a patatas bravas recipe.

Mine is a little bit heretical for a couple of important reasons. We are at the beginning of Jersey Royal season and I wouldn’t dream of using any other potato at this time of year. there is no other potato at this time of year.

Secondly because I don’t peel the potatoes. See above. Jersey Royals are perfect.

Thirdly because I still had some London heatwave sauce left which stood in for the usual tomato/chilli combo you’d get in Spain.

Hence the ingredients list is …

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Artichokes With Honey & Thyme: Spanish Picnic Series

Posted by Gordon White

Gasp! This is absolutely wonderful.

It’s based on a Jamie recipe, actually. Which is rare for me because I think his stuff is too bitsy and inaccurate because I’m still not convinced he actually cooks all the recipes he suggests.

(And the furore over his “thirty minute meals” that take two hours even for professional chefs is probably case in point.)

Anyway, my version is lazier and more delicious.

Ingredients

70 grams of pine nuts. This is a lot but that’s because I like pine nuts and I enjoy the boldness of using them as a main ingredient rather than

…

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Chorizo Cooked In Sherry: Spanish Picnic Series

Posted by Gordon White

Serve with a few of chorizo's favourite friends

Let’s switch from something fairly involved -yesterday’s octopus salad- to something super easy.

Now, I know it’s a really tired, Jamie-esque thing to say but if you want to serve simple foods, and the best tapas is simple, then they need to be good, authentic products.

Today’s installment of the Spanish picnic series is just such a thing.

Ingredients

Firstly, the chorizo. You want cooking chorizo rather than cured chorizo. They’re easy to tell apart once you know how. Firstly, cooking chorizo is smaller.

Secondly, cooking chorizo looks smooth and vibrant like a penis in a Caravaggio. Not grizzled …

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Octopus Salad: Spanish Picnic Series

Posted by Gordon White

Okay so this isn’t strictly tapas but then nothing is strictly tapas. It’s just supposed to be something snackish served with booze in the early evening because Spaniards like to wait until a time of night when their body no longer metabolises energy to eat large meals filled with fat and carbohydrates. (Bastardos.)

Anyway, I’m going to show you how I made this and then at the end I’m going to suggest a way that makes the whole thing even easier.

Ingredients

Large (see pic) bunch of flat leaf parsley. Or two small bunches. These are your salad leaves so

…

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The Week-Long Spanish Picnic

Posted by Gordon White

Laying tapas on a rug is like a bird feeder but for James. If you do the same he'll be frolicking in your yard by week's end

James and I are off to Scotland for eight days tomorrow on another one of our domestic road trips.

For those of you not currently in the UK, the extra days off we’re getting for the royal wedding mean that if you take just three days of annual leave you get eleven, blissful, uninterrupted days off which Londoners will use to flee the city, abandoning the capital to protesters, wealthy inbreds and visiting American tourists who have won breakfast television prizes for making asses of themselves.

Oh, and the King of Tonga because apparently that corrupt, pompous closet …

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“London Heatwave” Sauce: Chilli and Coriander

Posted by Gordon White

It’s actually proper hot in London. Like mid-twenties.

This is the time of year where you want to do as little as possible to as fresh ingredients as possible so you can just sit down at the best purchase James ever made (outdoor set) and finish/inhale the wine.

Always one to make things needlessly complicated, I decided to homo up the simple act of applying tomato sauce (“ketchup” to my beloved Americans).

We had this on the weekend with some steak sandwiches (using up the last of the confiture d’oignons) and it’s one of those accidental amazing things. …