I believe the following picture sums up what I planned to -and succeeded in-  accomplishing with my Valentines weekend back in Bristol. Hope you like it, Tan.

Except in my case instead of ‘rape in a bottle’ Bud Light, I was drinking the wonderful, wonderful Bath Gem Ale. Also I’m not a cat.

And I don’t feel bad about it at all because I am still sick so going out for a nice coupley evening would not have been possible, anyway.

Of course, I would be lying if I said it was ever really on the cards, illness or no illness. (Stand back, ladies. I’m taken.)

I honestly just think the only thing worse than going out to a restaurant on Valentines Day is going to the Boxing Day sales. The same principle holds true in both cases. Why the motherfuck would I want to ruin something fun by trying to do it at exactly the same time as every other frikking person in the world??

Plus I had a serious backlog of recorded television to get through. Nothing says I love more than “shutup. Battlestar is on.”

With that in mind may I just say “shutup” to you all and I sincerely hope somebody else said that to each and every one of your faces at least once this weekend.

Mwah.