• Moving Parts

    by  •  • Bristol

    For a variety of reasons (cashflow) I had to put off moving to Bristol until tomorrow.


    Which means my Tuesday -if all goes according to plan- will follow this basic itinerary:

    1. Get up at dawn to pick up rental van
    2. Fill rental van with our crap
    3. Drive 2.5 hours to Bristol
    4. Unload our crap in the apartment next to ours
    5. Make the return 2.5 hour journey to London to return the van
    6. Catch the tube to Victoria in order to be on a late night coach to Bristol that takes 2.5 hours
    7. rest restlessly on an inflatable mattress for several hours before going to the first day of my new job


    One of the many many spectacularly unappealing aspects of travelling through Britain is a steadfast refusal on the part of all but the most Polish of rental companies to allow for one way rentals.

    I wouldn’t mind paying extra (I totally would) but it’s not even an option.

    For those of you who can count that’s 7.5 hours of car travel and a huge amount of heavy lifting -the day before I am due to start my first ever job in this hemisphere.

    But… Hey! Silver lining.

    I work for BBC Mags. Can’t wait.

    A second silver lining is that I am the only person in the world to find inflatable mattresses strangely comfortable.

    This extra day, however, has given me enough time to sort out my current creative projects. You’ll notice (for instance) that you can finally subscribe to JUST this blog rather than my entire friendfeed.

    Might I recommend you do so… I am counting them.

    The other thing I managed to find time for was an excellent program called France On A Plate and now I wished I had decided to become a chef at 14.

    If TV has taught me anything it’s that if I were a chef I was be an almost-handsome millionaire by now and could make unfunny ‘jokes’ about my affairs.

    Also there would be no removalisting at all.

    I’d just swear at some street kids I had tricked into thinking I was helping them and they would do it.

    I would naturally be disappointed with the results.

    Actually, that’s really a forgone conclusion at this juncture, isn’t it?

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