Genoese Squid For People Who Never Cook Season

Genoese squid recipe

Squid and potato is my favourite form of Surf and Turf. In fact, it’s probably the one of the only ones I allow to be consumed anywhere near me.

This time last year I was in Barcelona for work. On our first night my colleague, who actually speaks a little Spanish, asked our waiter what he’d recommend and just asked for that.

He came out with an enormous tray of polbo รก feira -fried potatoes topped with chopped octopus and paprika. One of the best plates of food I have had in my life. (When he said it was …

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Radish And Olive Salad For A Confusing Detox

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In between catching up with business partners, family and friends over the new year there are evenings at home spent crying into my XXXL muumuu about how much weight was gained over Christmas.

This inevitably leads to declarations of “salad for dinner” all week.

Which is hard in January in the northern hemisphere as it’s not really salad season.

Unless you’re a radish.

Ingredients

  • 500g radishes. If you’ve bought them fresh so they still have decent leaves, wash and remove them too.
  • 200g black olives. (A bit less once drained, actually.) We managed to find pitted kalamata in a
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A Very European Union Of Sausages

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Sausages baked with vegetables seems very English to me.

Yes, I know everyone does it but other countries seem to do it with more interest and variation.

Chorizo, for instance, goes with everything and appears fun and exciting and vivacious like a hot Spaniard you meet at sunset by the beach one summer’s night who whisks you into a brief, whirlwind romance you will one day tell your grandchildren about… possibly on a ship in a Jim Cameron movie.

Or at the very least at a dramatically-relevant moment during a large family get-together like a graduation or Thanksgiving, possibly after …

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How To Do Burns Night At Home

Anyone else think he was kinda hot?

I’ll be out at a work event on Burns Night (the 25th) unfortunately, as I was really looking forward to giving this a crack.

Instead I’ll just have to settle for some Talisker when I get home. Boo hoo.

You however, should totally get amongst it. Below is a menu suggestion.

But first let’s address the elephant in the room.

Haggis.

Look, just do it. Think of it like communal sausage. You’ll be genuinely surprised how good it really is. I’m not saying you need to construct one… just buy it.

In Scotland everyone has their preferred brands but if …

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Seventies Party Food For People Who Weren’t Alive In The Seventies

Palmiers

Quite a number of this year’s food trends have a seventies feel to them… chopped liver, wines made of things other than grapes.

So we may as well lean into the trend.

Here are some things I served up at a pre-Christmas get together at our house along with various cheeses and my now internationally famous chilli jam.

  • Pea and mint dip
  • Palmiers two ways
  • Chopped liver

It makes it all the more seventies if you serve them out of cazuelasas well.

Pea and Mint Dip

Here’s a recipe I lifted in its entirety from this lovely blogger.…

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Carrot And Leek Soup Because Austerity Can Be Fun! (No It Can’t.)

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This recipe emerged out of a desire for soup but an aversion to using potato.

(What’s the fucking point of eating soup if you’re just going to carb up, anyway?)

It’s based on an updated Delia recipe from Frugal Food that I’ve made slightly poofier with the addition of bouillon, garlic-infused extra virgin olive oil and a few other wanker ingredients.

Ingredients

  • 500g leeks. Trimmed, washed, cut in half lengthways and then cut into chunks.
  • 500 carrots. Chopped. Don’t bother peeling them.
  • 1 large brown onion. Cut into medium chunks.
  • 1.5 litres bouillon. Vegetarian.
  • Garlic oil
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Recipes Of Shame You Should Never Put On Your Blog

Even phone photography is too good for this abomination

We all have them. Things we eat that we would rather people not know about.

It’s unlikely yours are as monstrous as mine. Most of mine belong on This Is Why You’re Fat. And only some of the reason is because they all seem to involve very large amounts of white bread.

These are things you really have to eat alone… or at least in secret. James was at a play, we have a mutual “mamma’s going out” rule so I cooked this beast of a secret.

There are nostalgic reasons behind it. When I was at university in …

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Tomato And Basil Risotto With And Without James

That glass is filled with wine, not urine. Needs to be pointed out.

This began as an experiment based on a recipe I saw on a cooking magazine site that insisted you could make risotto without stirring. I was extremely dubious.

And you know what?

You can’t. Not in a million years.

Which isn’t to say what you end up with isn’t delicious… it’s just not risotto. You end up with something closer to… I don’t know… A cheesy paella? A savoury rice pudding?

You get the idea. The flavour combo was good enough that we used it as a base for a ‘proper’ risotto a few weeks later. (I saw “we” but …

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